Bittersweet Life...

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

school holidays now.

after the rain so tk deserve. so boring. no looks. no voice. so yuck. i hate monggur. she looks like a maid trying hard to dress up herself. fendi rocks. i love revalina(sp?). and the other grp. sugarettes make me wish i could sing like them. victor is also boring, y him?

fyp is on its way. tt's good.

i feel mcm empty gitu w/o school. randomness.

went back to school on last fri. it was teacher's day. it was onli me, vic, feli and aisyah. feli is very the sexy now. vic is less vulgar.

and elf, mmg btul ape kau ckp. the things u told me abt a fren of ours. it's sad.
promises made, it's all a facade. "i'm sorry"-s are all pure fake-ness. "ill try to make it/ ill see u then"- just shut up next time round, orite. really. u're not living in reality. u onli come back to reality when u're hurt and crestfallen.

sometimes, i wish my life was different. as in, it was in a better light. in way that my parents dont bother so much as they do now. controlling my life.

sometimes, i dont like my character. i dont like the way i am. the way i feel at times. the way i treat ppl. the way i treat the ppl who care abt me. but i cant help it. somehow, i feel, devilishly, that they deserve it.

i cant help being persistent, stubborn, annoying, and keeping tabs on everything. it's just the way i am. though, at times, i just wanna be free. not caring abt anything.

sometimes, i care too much. i've been giving, and not receiving as much. i have my insecurities. alot at that, too.

reading liya's and ali's LJ never fail to enlighten me, in various ways. bringing things to light; justifying issues, getting everything out there with the right words. i wish i was like that. sometimes, i wish i was like them.

argh.

i have no idea wat im talking abt.

i feel empty, but then ill feel fulfilled and lucky. other times, i feel ignored; and other times i feel special. is it just me..?

i want a life. i know i cant get a perfect one, but at the very least, the way i want it to be.

Smashed into pieces at 9/05/2007 10:20:00 PM